Finding Happiness After A Breakup

It’s tough to think you’ll ever find happiness again when you’re fresh out of a relationship. Especially a relationship you thought was destined to last forever. And it’s even harder when you consider that your happiness is tied up with being with that special someone.

So you think you’ll only ever be truly happy when you get back with them. Now that may or may not be true, (actually, it’s not, but you probably won’t believe that right now), but as long as you’re miserable you have zero chance of getting them to come back to you. Nobody wants to be with a misery. Really, red eyes and sniffly noses are sooooo not attractive!

We’ve talked before about being happy when you’re single and while it’s not expected that you go around jumping for joy over the breakup, there’s still a lot of ways to find happiness in your life until the two of you get back together, or you find someone else.

Too often in life we think of happiness as a destination.

We say things like:

“When I make this much money, then I’ll be happy.”

“When I live in this town, then I’ll be happy.”

“When my ex comes back to me, then I’ll be happy.”

“When _______ happens, then I’ll be happy.”

You could probably think of hundreds of variations of this same idea. The idea that we can be happy later, depending on a condition.

While all of those things may actually bring happiness, there is no need to wait. You can be happy right now.

I realize you are going through a tough time right now. Going through a breakup is one of the hardest things we have to go through in our lives. The feelings we have don’t go away quickly, but rather, they can last for a considerable time, depending on the situation.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness. Instead of thinking of happiness as a destination, consider it as a resource.

Happiness can be felt from smiling to a stranger. Returning money you find on the street and giving it to it’s rightful owner will make you happy. So can taking your dog for a walk.

I’m sorry, I hope this doesn’t seem like I am trivializing happiness. I’m just trying to point out (as someone special recently pointed out to me), happiness is a resource and we can pick from it’s many forms throughout our day.

Usually, it’s these small opportunities that present themselves throughout the day that, if we are paying attention, are good opportunities to find joy. Let’s face it, when you’re going through a breakup, you can use all the joy you can find.

And when your ex sees you happy and smiling, you’re going to look a heck of a lot more attractive than you do crying and snivelling.