Staying With A Cheating Partner
Every week on relationship forums and in womens magazines, you get questions from folks who want to know if they should stay with someone who has cheated on them. Usually, they include some reason as to why the guilty party might have felt the need to go out and cheat. Although they’re asking for advice on whether they should stay with their cheating partner or not, the fact that they’re already including reasons (excuses?) gives a pretty good indication that, in fact, they’re really looking for someone to tell them it’s ok to stay.
So is it? Well, opinions vary and in the end, only you can decide.
Stay with a cheater, you only cheat yourself.
If it happens once, it will happen again. Why? If you stay with man or woman who has cheated on you, you’ve essentially told them that they can sleep with somebody else and you’ll take them back. Cool (for them) huh?
The first time someone cheats on you, they have the most to lose because they don’t know what your reaction will be. But, once you give permission for that behavior by taking them back, then they know what to expect and how to deal with it.
You will always be torturing yourself with feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. Can you really deal with constant wondering of where your lover is and what they’re up to?
Anyone can make a mistake.
Nobody is perfect in this life. And yes, it would be great if marriages and relationships never got into trouble and we all lived happily ever after. But that only happens in the movies.
In the real world we have too many stresses and frustrations to deal with. And whether we like to admit or not, nobody can be all things to all people all of the time. So cheating might be a HUGE mistake on the part of your partner, but do you really want to throw away all the great times you’ve shared because they cheated one time?
Sometimes cheating is the wake up call a relationship needs. Often, for the cheater as well as the innocent partner. They realise just how badly their relationship has been going, but they also realise that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and that the current relationship is worth fighting for and staying in.
If you don’t give your cheating partner another chance you risk losing everything and spending the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’. Do you really want to risk it?
Do you really want to know if your partner is cheating?
Ah, the big question. And one you would do well to answer. So often cheaters are able to get away with it because their partners are too afraid to look for the signs that would mean having to deal with their infidelity. After all, once you know you then have to make the decision as to whether you stay or go.
If you’re not sure what you would do if you found out your partner was cheating, then start thinking about it. Because unfortunately in over 60% of relationships one or the other party is going to be unfaithful at least one time.
Worrying about cheating is one thing, knowing is another thing entirely. And don’t fool yourself into thinking you know already what you would do. I ‘knew‘ for over 20 years that I would never stay with anyone who cheated on me… till it happened. Funny how your innermost value and belief systems change when faced with the reality of something as opposed to the thought of it.
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