How Long Should You Wait For An Ex Lover?
Despite what you may hear from others there isn’t really a set time period where you can say, ‘if we’re not back together within this many days/weeks/months, it’s time to move on’. Every couple, every relationship, every breakup is different.
Some people spend most of their time together as a couple actually broken up. I’ve known friends for whom breaking up was almost a routine. Those types of breakups aren’t really breakups. Hiccups maybe and if you can live with a relationship that unstable, then fine. Go for it.
Most of us however, like a little stability in our relationship. Sure there’ll be disagreements and temper tantrums. But they don’t lead to breaking up and breaking hearts.
The breakups that break your heart shouldn’t be a regular occurrence. They should happen once and if you succeed in getting back together then both of you should have learned enough from the experience to make sure it never happens again.
But sometimes, if you get back together too quickly, you haven’t had time to learn the lessons you need to learn and so nothing changes. That doesn’t bode well for the relationship working out second time around.
Some folks are quick learners. Some folks aren’t. There’s a very good chance that you and your partner will both need differing amounts of time to figure out whether you want to be back together again or not. If they don’t realize it before you’ve decided it’s time to move on…
I would love to be able to tell you that if you work on getting back together then it will happen in a matter of a few weeks at most. But that would just be a lie. And having had lies tear my own marriage apart, I’m not really too keen to tell them to others.
However, I will say that allowing at least a few weeks before you even consider trying again is a good guideline. This gives you time to not only make sure that getting back together is what you really want to do, it also gives you time to consider your plan of action. And you do need a plan.
Begging and pleading for them to take you back isn’t going to work. We’ve talked about that before. It’s just not attractive. Not to anyone.
Once you’ve decided you want them back and you’ve got your plan in place, how long do you give it? That really depends on what sort of plan you’ve come up with and how long you’re prepared to give it to work. If you truly love them, chances are you’ll give them as long as it takes. Just be aware that could be a very long time. And it may not ever happen. Are you really prepared to live the rest of your life in hopes that your ex will come back to you?
As hard as it may seem you do have to accept the fact that you might have to move on without them. Of course you might not be willing to accept that fact just now. But sometime down the road you might find you’ve moved on without even realizing it.
One thing’s for sure. The longer you’re apart the less chance there is of you getting back together. Yeah, you hear of couples getting back together after years apart, but those reunions are few and far between. Don’t waste your life pinning your hopes on your lover coming back into your life 20 years from now.
I can’t tell you how long you should wait. Only you can aswer that question. But I can tell you that if you’re not back with them within a couple of years, then you may have to face up to life without them. That’s not so hard as you might be thinking just now. In fact, in a couple of years you might actually find the idea rather attractive. 
