Depression After Getting Back With Your Ex – Is It Normal?
The first thing to realise is that depression following getting back together after a relationship breakup is quite common. You might thnk that you’re nuts to feel this way, because you’ve managed to get back together and you should be feeling ecstatic.
But no matter how good the relationship might be now, the fact remains that you recently broke up. And at the time, your biggest fear was that you wouldn’t be able to get your true love back. It seems common sense that having successfully reconciled your differences you should now be blissfully happy that your worst fears weren’t realised.
However, just the very fact that you went through such a breakup can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen during a relationship.
And if you forgave that person to save the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. Your happiness at being back together is naturally tempered with the fear and pain you’ve just experienced. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.
On the other hand, if you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware of it.
Even if neither of you cheated, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. Whatever the reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you love so much!
You’re faced with accepting the fact that the person you love was going to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, accepting that they were considering something else is a painful thing!
And sometimes the depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.
And the fear of that happening again or how you would feel if you hadn’t got back together is powerful. It’s a natural reaction.
Overall, a break up is arguably the most painful thing a person can go through, no matter what the reason. The feeling that someone you loved and trusted was ready to walk away, even if you didn’t officially split up, is the most heart rending, soul destroying emotion you will ever have to deal with. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.
So accept the fact that feeling depressed after getting back with your ex, the one thing you wanted more than anything else in the world, is perfectly normal. It will take time to work out, but remember that true love always finds a way to survive.
