Without a doubt, the biggest single cause of a relationship breaking up is when one partner has an affair. While a relationship can survive any number of problems, no matter how much trouble or stress they cause, it seems that being cheated on isn’t one of them.
That’s not to say that many couples don’t survive affairs. They do. Even though you may think you will never get over the pain and the sheer, mind numbing torture of discovering your true love has been unfaithful, there are numerous instances of many couples coming out the other end, much stronger than they were before.
However, they are not the majority. And it takes a helluva lot of time, patience, and downright hard work to pick up a relationship and get it back to a state of being worthwhile after one of you has cheated.
For those people who have never suffered the pain of finding out that their true love has been sneaking around with someone else, there is no way to even guess at the devastation it causes. It seems so easy to believe that you would just get up and walk away. How could you even consider staying with someone that would cheat on you?
Of course, the answer to that one is easy. Because you still love them. If having an affair destroyed your love the way it destroys everything else about your relationship, then getting over it wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, while it will break your heart it won’t break your love.
So when you’re looking for ways to get over being cheated on, the first thing you have to do is look at just how much you love this person. If you love them enough, if you’re willing to fight tooth and nail to survive the affair, then there’s a good chance your relationship can survive.
Having said that, your love for the cheater isn’t the only thing to consider. If it were, there’d be a lot less broken hearts in the world. Loving someone is of no use if they don’t love you back.
Once you’ve decided that you love them enough to work it through, you have to know that they love you enough to never risk your relationship again. Hard as it may to understand, it’s often just as difficult for the one who cheated because they have to live with the guilt of knowing how much hurt they’ve caused.
Oftentimes, cheating spouses (just like those who’ve never experienced being cheated on), have absolutely no idea of the depth of the pain that their actions will cause. I won’t go into how much it hurts because, let’s face it, this is a general website and not a horror movie, but unless you’ve experienced it personally, there’s no way of knowing.
However, you can get over it. Like everything else that happens in your life, unfortunately you don’t get much choice. The sun will keep rising and the world will keep turning. And you will get through each day a little stronger than the day before.
Whether you get through those days with your partner by your side or you decide to get through them alone, you will get through them! An affair may signal the end of your relationship, but it is not the end of your life.
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Tags: cheating spouses, getting over being cheated on, how to get over being cheated on, how to survive an affair
I was married for over 20 years when my husband confessed to having an affair. The pain is still there after almost 6 years, but you’re right, it wasn’t the end of my life.
We were one of the couples that tried to make it work. We couldn’t. But my life went on and is now much better than it was before. I never thought I’d be able to say that, but it just goes to show you can definitely survive an affair and come out stronger.