It may seem like a silly question, but often when relationships end and we find ourselves still agonising over a lost love, then it’s a question you need to ask. And it’s one you need to be able to answer honestly.
If the person you’re in love with causes you nothing but pain and misery, whether you’re with them or not, then it’s a safe bet you’re in love with the wrong person. Of course, that’s pretty easy to say. But even though you might know the person you love isn’t right for you, that doesn’t go any way to helping you stop loving them.
I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating. Just because someone hurts you doesn’t take away your love for them. Love isn’t that smart. It would be great if it was, but it isn’t. Your friends and family will no doubt try to convince you otherwise, but you and I both know the truth. true love is unconditional and ever lasting.
So what do you do if you really are in love with the wrong person? You could try to change them into the right person. But that’s never going to happen really is it? And even if it did, would they then be the person you were in love with in the first place? Being in love with the wrong person is one of the biggest mistakes made when we try to get back with an ex lover. Because if that ex lover is the wrong person, then you’re heading for just more pain and heartbreak.
Personally, I don’t think it’s possible to fall in love with the wrong person. In fact, if you really are in love with the wrong person, it’s because you’re confusing the person you used to love with the person they’ve become and you think they’re one and the same.
People change. And we’re not talking about growing older, gaining weight, developing wrinkles… But emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, on all levels we change as we go through life. The person you fell in love with twenty years ago is hardly likely to be the same person today.Similarly, the person they fell in love with (you) isn’t the same person today.
In an ideal world we’d all change in similar ways so that the person we fell in love with originally, continues to be the person we are in love with today. But we don’t live in an ideal world. And often, they change into someone that, if we just met them today, we wouldn’t dream of starting up a relationship with, let alone falling in love with.
That’s due partly to the changes in you as well as the changes in them. The trouble is, you never stop loving the person they were in the beginning. Accepting that fact is what helps you to recognise whether you’re in love with the wrong person today.
If you are, then you have to make the decision as to whether you stick with that person, or you move on and find the right person. Don’t think that because you’re in love with someone who existed years ago that you can’t fall in love with someone who exists today. You can.
You might not believe it right now and I certainly didn’t for a long time. But trust me on this one. Once you accept that you’re in love with someone who no longer exists, (other than in your memories), you open up your heart to finding and loving the right person.
Related Posts:
- Do You Ever Really Recover From A Broken Heart?
- How to Know true love When You Find It
Tags: biggest mistake in trying to get back with ex, how to find true love, listening to head instead of heart, loving the wrong person, survive a break up
