Are you getting over a break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to fight for love one minute and hide in a corner the next? Don’t worry, it’s all perfectly natural when you are dealing with a break up.

Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has died, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over the break up of a relationship. Many people have commented that it is actually easier getting over the death of a partner than it is recovering from a break up or a divorce.

This is because there’s more support when someone dies. You are expected to need help and time to recover. But after a break up, while friends and family may rally round for a short time, pretty soon you are supposed to get over it and move on with your life.

So what are some of the practical steps you can take to help you deal with your break up?

The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to let everything out in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. Once the letter is finished, take it outside and set fire to it. Let the wind carry it away wherever it may. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can really help you on the road to emotional recovery.

Next, you need to arrange to exchange belongings. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you probably have a number of your ex’s belongings at your place and vice versa. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.

If there are some items that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave them lying around because it will only serve as a constant reminder of when you were together.

It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.

There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a joint account together, work out how you are going to share the funds and then go to the bank and close it.

What you should be doing is gradually closing out the parts of your lives that you shared. This is tough but essential to getting over a break up.

After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no contact for thirty days. This gives you both time to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time.

After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again. Dealing with the break up of relationship is a difficult enough task, but hopefully, breaking the necessary steps down into manageable chunks should help you recover more quickly.